Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Am I Allowed to Come Back?

WOW. Hi, everyone!

I accidentally took a three-year hiatus. Oops.

I can't say for sure that I'm back for good, but I'm back today.

So I feel like it goes without saying, but a LOT has happened in the past three years. You all know I got married, so that's not new. I've travelled a ton, started a new job, and we bought a house! I'll get into that sometime, but not today.

Here's a totally not creepy picture of my house, though! (Our grass is greener and our roof is clean now.)

Let me just jump right into this. My apologies in advance for all the non sequiturs that are to follow. I've been thinking a lot about writing again. I updated my super old MacBook Pro and happened to find a bunch of things that I wrote a while back. These things were mostly written for school, but some of them were really interesting. I had these assignments called Passion Essays, which I totally forgot about. Talk about a trip down memory lane. Anyway. They made me laugh out loud, and reading them renewed my want to start writing again. I wanted to share one of them with you.

I've pasted one below. I'm open to feedback. If you think it sucks, I'd love to know. If you think it's funny, I'd love to know that, too. I also have one more of these essays. If you want me to publish it here let me know! (Please keep in mind I wrote this in 2013. Be kind.)

Okay, let's get on with this.

I have always loved shoes. For as long as I can remember, collecting shoes has been a need – not just a want. I take a great amount of pleasure in being able to match the perfect pair with an outfit. In fact, I am a firm believer in building the outfit around the shoes. Depending on the person you ask, this is completely acceptable.

I was born with one Clubfoot (my left). Because of the surgery and time I spent in a cast when I was little, that foot is a size and a half smaller than my right foot (weird feet). It’s possible my love of shoes comes from it being the only way I could disguise this difference, and a subconscious need to make it less obvious. But I’ve never been one to shy away from attention, so that’s probably not it.

My thought is that it started with my first pair of “jellies.” At the tender age of six, I refused to take them off, and as I got older I looked forward to a new pair every season. From there the white patent leather Easter shoes fueled the love; I only wore those to church (with frilly socks, of course).

Shortly after that – around middle school, I think – it was necessary to own flip-flops in every color under the sun. I actually still wear some of those shoes, holes and all. At one point I turned into the type of person who wears flip-flops in winter, but thankfully I did grow out of that.

Now that I’m in my twenties with a stable job, my shoe collection has gone from large to absolutely ridiculous. I moved out of my parents’ house some time ago, but half of my shoe collection still lives there; there isn’t enough room for them all in my apartment. You would think that this would make me re-think my need to collect all shoes that I think I could wear at least once, but no. Any time I see a pair that I immediately can plan an outfit around, they come home with me.

It’s important that I own shoes in every color. I own clothes in every color, so I should always be able to match. I also have plenty of shoes that are multi-colored and neutral-toned. I have a pair of multi-colored-sequin shoes that I call my “Rainbow Fish” shoes after the book. That pair goes with everything.

Even as I sit here writing about my love for shoes, I can’t stop thinking about a pair that I saw at DSW recently. They are a nude pair of pointed-toe flats. They will go with everything! It’s incredibly difficult for me to go to a shoe store because I have to practice such self-control. The downside to this is that I have to go to a shoe store to buy them. I can’t order shoes online because of my weird feet.

Even though I can’t buy shoes online, I signed up years ago for ShoeDazzle. Looking back on it, that didn’t make any sense. It just brings me so much joy to know that on the first day of every month I will have a new showroom of shoes waiting for me to look at. The best part is that if I hate all of them, I can request a new selection! Just “browsing” the shoes, even though I know that I won’t buy any, makes me happy.

To break it down – and possibly to motivate myself to do a massive overhaul – I will break down my shoe collection. (These are estimates because there is no way I could begin to know how many shoes I really have.) I know that I have five pairs of boots. That is for sure. I have about 30 pairs of flip-flops, 15 pairs of flats, 10 pairs of tennis shoes, and 20 pairs of heels. If slippers count as shoes, I have four pairs of those. To many, this really is not much of a collection. For my small amount of space this is a large amount of shoes.

My mother asks me all the time to get rid of some, but here’s the thing – I wear all of them. In college I used to change my outfit about three times a day. I had clothes to wear to work, clothes to student teach in, clothes to wear while walking around campus, and “going out” clothes. These all required different shoes.

Now here I am in the “adult world” and I only change my outfit twice a day, but one of those outfits is to lounge around in after work; that doesn’t require shoes. I look for excuses now to create fun outfits to pair with one of my many pairs of shoes. I daydream about this.

Even though it’s not as easy these days to make use of so many shoes, I try my best. The love will never die, and any time I see a pair of shoes that I need, they will come home with me. Without a doubt.